A lifetime of Bad Cliches

Clichés downright suck. This is what I, Sakura, have come to believe.

Because it makes sense.

I mean, you see it in movies and read it in books almost every day. Now who wants something that’s used up all the time? I sure don’t. Here are some perfect examples of stupid clichés:

(And no offense to those of you who like this)

The Christmas List: The woman has the cocky, conceited boyfriend of four years, knows this other guy for a week that has this thing for another woman, they kiss, and all of a sudden, he proposes, saying how he ‘didn’t want to fall in love but it was too late!’ right after the other dude proposed.

Who the heck falls in love after a week?

Twilight: Now, don’t get me wrong, I love the series. But C’MON!! Second book, Edward leaves because he thinks he’s dangerous, and then goes back to her in the end. Why did he leave her? Oh, yeah! Because, apparently, all the best men are bipolar.

And then all the movies where two people hate each other and then fall for each other.

It’s all really stupid.

So when all the worst of clichés happen to me in one year, how do you think I start to feel?


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So here’s the thing: in most romance movies for teens, the story takes place in either high school, or some crazy action flick. When it comes to high school, almost always, a new kid comes to town, and falls for the one popular kid that no one else can get. And in action flicks, the hero will either fall for the bad guy who suddenly realizes that he’s been wrong all along, or save someone that they just met because of a “feeling”.

Don’t lie; you all know it’s true.

So here I am, new girl in the Konoha High School, with long-time best friend Ino (sweet girl, she rocks). And so she introduces me to some of her friends. And this starts out the typical mega-movie cliché.

So what do you think is going to start happening?


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“So how was Sex Ed.?” I asked Ino. She practically screamed in the hall, earning a few stares.

“That man is crazy!!!! He was going on and on about how he and his wife tried to do it as often as possible because of her inability to get pregnant.” Her voice was suddenly mocking the health teacher’s. “’Oh yeah! Whenever she was on her special cycle, she called me up saying, ‘honey! You gotta get home!’ and I rushed home and we’d be doing it like crazy!’”

(A.N.: This is the exact thing our health teacher did….and worse!)

I nearly gagged in my mouth. I’ve only been here a few months, and already I’ve heard about how this guy is a pervert. I am not looking forward to that class this year.

While we were at her locker, out of the corner of my eye, I saw someone zooming toward us. And I mean zooming! When he comes up to us, I noticed that he was wearing all green: green hat, green shirt, green sweatpants, and even green socks and shoes.

No that’s what I call going green.

“Oh, hey Lee,” Ino greeted. Said guy ignored her, turning to me. Before anything else, he grinned a blinding-white smile and handed me a bouquet.

All roses and lilies.

“Please, be my girlfriend! I promise to love and cherish you each and every day!”

Oh my gosh.

Was this guy for real? No one says these kinds of things anymore!

“Um, no thanks . . .” I said. I could hear Ino trying her best not to snicker at the situation. She knew my hatred for clichés.

“Bu-but . . . WHY?!” he cried out. Man, this was sooo not happening!

“Because I am not interested in you like that, and I’m not looking for a boyfriend right now.”

That and he had some serious fashion issues.

I could see his disappointment of my rejection. He walked away with slumped shoulders, clearly depressed.

“Sakura, why did you have to be so mean about it?” Ino asked while laughing. I gave her a small glare as we walked to lunch. I sat down in the seat that her friends would now save for me—by Ino and this weird guy named Sasuke. Now, I know what you all are thinking: isn’t this the direct path to a cliché? Normally, yes, but this is different. Sasuke doesn’t acknowledge my presence and is kind of freakish, so I have nothing to worry about.

Right?

Ten minutes later, everyone was sitting at the table—I, Ino, Sasuke, TenTen, Hinata, Naruto, and Shikamaru— and then TenTen had to bring up what went down in the hall.

“So, Sakura, I hear that you rejected Lee,” she commented. My eyes shifted to the girl sitting beside me.

“How many people did you tell, Ino?” The look on my face must have been something, because she slowly scooted her chair a little away from me.

“Uh, not too many!”

She quickly stood up and went to the snack shack to go buy a Malt Ice-cream.

“Fuzzy-Brows asked you out, Sakura?” Naruto asked. I was thankful that he wasn’t shouting like he usually did.

“Yes. Why?” I looked over and saw him grinning like a fool.

“Because I know so people you should go out with!”

This couldn’t end well.

“You could go out with me!” he said. I snorted.

Wait.

That wasn’t me.

It came from the dude beside me.

“Why would she go out with you?” Sasuke commented. “If anything with that crazy hair of hers, she’s probably lesbian.”



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Lord, I pray for:


Wisdom to understand a man

Love to forgive him

And patient for his moods

Because, lord, if I ask for strength, I’ll just beat him to death.


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I stood up and glared to down at him, my hand smacking the table.

“WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY, MR. HERMAPHRODITE?!”

“You heard me.”

What the heck?! He wasn’t even affected by the fact that I had just called him asexual! Now he’s gonna get it!

SLAP!!!!

Now THAT got his attention, baby!

I watched with growing satisfaction as a red mark—the shape of my hand—formed on his flawless face.


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A few weeks later, I was in science class. My partner was the school womanizer, Kiba.

And what do you know? We were working on chemical bonds.

“So, guess what I have just discovered.”

Here we go . . .

“That we have the potential to have chemistry,” he whispered. That is one of my most-hated lines ever.

I really needed to get a new lab partner.

“Really? Well, how about this? If you keep throwing crappy lines at me, we have a 100% chance of failing this class!” I snarled at him. Suddenly there was someone tapping on Kiba’s shoulder. We both looked up to see Sasuke standing there, a scowl on his face. One of pure annoyance.

“Dog-breath, I need you to trade me partners. Mine won’t stop drooling all over the desk.” I looked behind me to see Tammy staring dreamily at Sasuke. She was very pretty, and very empty-headed, if you know what I mean.

Kiba also looked back at her and gave Sasuke a smirk. “Yeah, I’ll trade you.”

Good, go try your lines on a girl who won’t even get them. Honestly, I’m glad he’s gone!

Sasuke nodded and took his new spot next to me, and I noticed the teacher up front jotting down the new arrangement.

“It actually happens a lot,” I heard Sasuke say. “The whole trading partners thing.” I snorted.

“I don’t care. As long as you do okay and don’t cause me a failing grade, I don’t mind you staying here.”

Well, I later learned throughout the class that Sasuke did extremely well in this class. I guess people weren’t kidding when the said that he was a genius. And not only that, but we worked together quit well, considering who my previous partner was. In fact, we were the first group done in class. There were only ten minutes left in class. So I pulled out the book I was reading.

“The Hunger Games?” I looked up to see Sasuke staring at the cover of my book. I glared at him.

“Do you need something?” He shook his head at my behavior (oh, and he doesn’t act like that?) and pulled out his own book.

Twilight.

I started to snicker.

“What?”

“You’re reading a chick book. You must be gay!” I whispered to him. He shook his head (again) and looked at me.

“So I like romance novels. Do you have a problem with that?” I chose not to answer. In truth, I found it funny he was reading romance.

Because, despite my hate for the whole thing:

I was also a romance fanatic.

But why was he one?


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Okay, so there’s this dude a grade above me, and he’s a total freak! He’s got this weird purple stuff on his face, and he carries his grandfather’s old puppet around with him

I’ve heard of stopwatches, but this is too odd.

And there is a slight rumor that he –shivers—has a crush on me.

Ewwww.

“And so, by angling your wrist like so, this type of brush stroke should be a bit easier (AN: yeah, I don’t know either),” the teacher stated. Sakura stared at the painting before her. It was a display of flowers in a vase. Not too original.

At the end of art class as I’m walking to my locker, I see the guy (Kunkuro) walking up to me.

And he’s smirking.

Frick.

Once he’s up to me, he puts his arm around my shoulders and pulls me to him. “Hey, baby! What’s up?”

Ugh! I hate it when guys try and act like that!

“So, I was in art last week, and I was thinking of you.” He handed me a large, folded up piece of paper. “So I painted this for you.” He winked at me and walked away. When I got to my locker, I unfolded the paper.

And got a slight nosebleed.

He painted a picture of himself half naked. He was sitting in a red chair holding a pink carnation. At the bottom of the paper, in beautiful calligraphy, was ‘I‘ll be waiting’. I will admit, he had extraordinary skills—

“Well, that isn’t odd or anything.”

“Hello, Sasuke,” I said. How did he always know where I am? “Are you stalking me, or something?”

I almost laughed at the purely disgusted look on his face.

“You’re not even worth chasing after.”

</i>SLAP!!!!!!</i>

“Butthead.”

“So what’s with the painting?” he asked while rubbing his red cheek. We were walking in the hall to lunch, and the painting was stuffed into my locker.

“He made it for me. I was told by his sister he was planning something.” Sasuke snorted. I gave him a questioning look.

“He doesn’t get girls.”

“Oh, and you do? Does that explain why you have a girlfriend? Oh wait! You don’t have one!”

BURN!

“I choose not to have a girlfriend yet. What I mean is: if he wants to impress a girl, he shouldn’t paint a picture of himself. He should’ve done one of the girl he’s after. That’s what I would’ve done.”

Okay, so in a way, he was making sense. Why paint a picture of yourself? Paint one of her to show that you notice her and recognize her beauty. It’s flattering.


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So today is Saturday, and I’m at school. It’s only because I agreed to help one of my favorite teachers with setting up his room for this major event on Monday.

As I was carrying this box to his room I heard someone playing piano in the choir room. The playing was absolutely amazing! I snuck in to catch a glimpse at who was playing the keys.

Sasuke?!

I dropped the box in shock.

Wrong move.

He stopped playing and glared towards the doorway. “Who’s there?” I snuck out and smiled sheepishly.

“Hi! I, uh, heard someone playing and decided to see who it was. Sorry to bother you,” I said as I picked up the box and made my way out. I didn’t even wonder why he was at school on the weekend.

“Hey, come here,” he called. I set the box down and walked back into the room.

“Yeah?”

“I want your opinion on something.” He beckoned me over to the piano. As he played, I started to recognize the song.

“Hey, isn’t that by—”

“Vanessa Carlton?”

“Yeah, that’s the song “Fools Like Me”, I love that song!” I exclaimed. His eyes widened slightly.

“I thought you were the type of person to listen to Lady Gaga.”

“Nah, she’s a bit of a hoe-bag. No, I love Vanessa’s music.” He began playing again, and looked at me expectantly.

So, yeah, I kinda sang while he played. And then he harmonized. It was so fun!

“You’re really good, you know.” He snorted (doesn’t he do that a lot?). “What?”

“My parents . . . aren’t too thrilled that I’m into music. I don’t want to go into the family business, and they don’t like that. My brother supports me, though.”

“Well, that’s good. What else can you play?”

We easily got into a huge conversation about his playing, and I got to listen to a piece that he alone wrote and composed. It was so beautiful and . . . well, words can’t describe it. And no, I’m not being corny or anything because it’s true—words can’t describe it—and no, I don’t have a small vocabulary. But it was really nice. And I think we got a little closer.

I think. Men are confusing.

I spent so much time talking to Sasuke, that the teacher I was helping actually had to search the school for me. She thought I was kidnapped, or something. When she found me, the first words out of her mouth were:

“Teen love is such a beautiful thing!”

Sasuke almost gagged. I nearly went unconscious.

Me? In love with him?! That’s impossible on every level. I would never fall for Sasuke.

Right?


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Blind dates.

I hate them.


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I was standing in the woman’s bathroom. In a beautiful blue dress, my hair done up, and now, anyone that walks in, will see a gorgeous-looking girl crawling out the bathroom window. Ino had set me up on a blind date. She said the guy was great and totally respected woman. My kind of guy. Only thing is, he is a total jerk, treated me like crap, and has tried using all of the old tricks in the book to attempt to impress me.

MISSION: FAILED.

First, when he pulled out my chair, he pulled it out too far and I fell on my butt. Instead of apologizing, he laughed and just walked over to his own seat. Without helping me up. Then, he orders for me. I told him a minute before I wanted salad and spaghetti. He got us the special: Fried Liver. He had absolutely no table manners, talked with his mouth full, held his utensils like shovels, and talked about his previous girlfriends.

Big mistake.

I told him that I had to go to the bathroom. When I was in there, I stood at the door and watched him call someone.

He was asking a girl to go out later tonight.

Just. Plain. Rude.

So I did what any girl in their right mind would do. I snuck out the window. When I landed on the ground outside with my purse in hand, I noticed that I still looked great. I didn’t even tear my new dress. I am amazing!

Luckily, it was a dress that could be fancy or casual. I decided to take myself to the library. I haven’t had any good books lately, so I had to check out what all they had here. And when I got there—OMG, THE LIBRARY IS HUGE!!!!!!

I went through everything in the Young Adult section. They had a good supply of almost every type of genre. I went back over to their romance section. Oh, man! There were so many books to choose from!

As I was searching through the shelves, I had the feeling that I was being watched. I turned my head slightly to see a group of college guys checking me out. One of them—the cutest one—sauntered over to me.

“You do know that blue is my favorite color, right?” he said coolly. He had dark eyes and dark hair and dark cloths and—

Wait a second . . .

“What’s your name?” I asked slowly. He smirked.

“Itachi. And you must be this Sakura girl I’ve seen.”

“Excuse me?” he started to laugh.

“I ask my brother to sketch pictures of people at his school, since his description skills are worse than suckish. He mentioned a while back that there was a new girl in school. I think he said that she was a lesbian—”

“I’m perfectly straight!” I defended.

“—yes, I know. I told him to sketch you. And after I saw the first one, I noticed that he’s been doing more. I think he’s stalking, Sakura,” he said with a playful smirk. I glared at him.

“You know, you’re kind of odd.” He started to laugh out loud.

“So they say!” he said as he walked away. I shook my head. Are all Uchiha’s abnormal, or just the two that I’ve met?

A few minutes later, I noticed Sasuke walking into the section that I was in. He seemed like he was in a trance, and he didn’t notice I was here. He pulled a book off of the shelf and read the inside cover, shook his, and put it back. He looked up and finally noticed me.

“How long have you been standing there?” he asked.

“Longer than you.” I didn’t mean for my tone to come out harsh, but it did. I guess I was still a bit freaked out by the fact that he sketches me.

“What, are you on your time of the month, or something?”

“WHAT?!” no man should ever ask a woman that. Ever. “No, sorry for my attitude. I just talked with you brother a few minutes ago.” I noticed him pale. He looked away slightly, a light blush on his face.

“He told you about the sketches.”

“Yeah.”

“Before you say anything: no, I’m not stalking you—we’ve already established that. Yes, I like to draw you. I’m not perverted in any way, so you don’t have to worry.”

“Are they any good?” I asked. Well, if he continues to do it, they must be pretty good, right?

“I don’t know. I don’t let anyone except Itachi see them and he doesn’t say too much.”

“May I see them?”

“They’re at my house. Do you want to come over now, or tomorrow?” he asked nervously.

Well, it’s seven on a Friday night in the middle of April. Why not?

“Sure, tonight sounds cool.”

As we were walking out to his car, he commented me on my dress.

“You look, um . . . nice . . .” he said without looking at me. “Why are you wearing the dress?”

“Ino set me up on a blind date.” He snickered.

“And how’d that go?”

“The guy was a total jerk! It was so bad that before the food was even served, I had to sneak out the bathroom window to get out of there.” As we got into his car, he shook his head.

“You realize that would mean you preformed a type of cliché, don’t you?”

“No. I was utterly desperate.” I said defiantly.

When we were up in his bedroom, he walked over to the closet and pulled out this HUGE box. He opened it and began pulling out canvases and notepads. I started looking through them. I soon noticed that the larger ones were copies of the ones in notepads. And most of them were stuff from school. In classes, lunch, outside waiting for the buss when it was snowing . . .

“So . . . what do you think?”

“These are . . . wow . . . just . . . ” I couldn’t even force my mind to for a coherent sentence. He was talented.

“Does that mean that you like them?”

“Yeah; I love them. They look so real . . .” I stared at one that seemed to be the most recent. I was sitting at a piano beside him; his back facing the person viewing the picture, and I was turned slightly to be seen well. The colors were so vibrant; I just couldn’t take my eyes off of it. When I looked away, I noticed him staring at me. “What?”

“Nothing! It’s just, well, never mind . . .”

“No, what is it?” I caught him glancing at some unused canvas paper. He wanted to sketch me again. I smiled at him and went to sit on his window seat. “Any certain position you want me to take?” He looked a little surprised at first. But then, there was a spark of excitement in his eyes as he grabbed his things and got started.

“No—you look perfect.”

I sat on the window with the night sky behind me, waiting patiently for him to finish. I watched his face as he worked on it. There came a moment where his face turned a little red.

“I didn’t know that an artist blushes during his work,” I teased. Sasuke chuckled.

“Most people sketch landscapes. I sketch people,” he said.

It took him about 45 minutes. When he called me over to see the finished work, my jaw dropped.

“I think it’s you best piece yet!”

The way everything looked was just outstanding. He made it appear as if I were glowing in the moonlight. He grabbed a nearby sharpie marker and signed his name in cursive at the bottom right corner of the artwork. He handed it to me.

“Here, keep it.” I took the portrait from his hands and smiled at him.

“Thank you.”


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The next day . . .


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So I’m walking through the park because it’s like, super warm out today, and I see this group of guys harassing some little kid on the playground. I walk over to them (wow, am I stupid or what?)

“Hey! Leave him alone, what’s he ever doe to you?!” I yelled, getting all up in their faces. They stopped and turned to me, walked away from the little boy, and instead, came up to me.

“Hey, we’ve got a cute one here,” one of them said while approaching me. They started to surround me; needless to say, I was freaking out. These guys were big with muscles, and I’m one of the shortest girls in the grade.

And then they started to feel me up. So I screamed. And then kicked one of them where it hurts.

“Hey!”

We all turned out heads to see another group of guys –Sasuke, Itachi, and some dude with blonde hair—glaring at the guys around me. The blonde one stepped forward and licked his lips.

“Well, don’t you all look delicious!”

They ran. Pansies.

The blonde one stepped forward. “You okay?” I stepped back.

“I have pepper spray!” I warned. Sasuke stepped around him and eyed me.

“If you really had pepper spray, you would’ve used it on those guys,” he stated.

Drats. He had me.

“Sakura, you know my brother; this here is Deidara, a friend of his. You can relax, he won’t do anything.” I noticed Itachi and Deidara walking away—

Holding hands?!?!?!?

“Yeah, they’re together,” Sasuke said.

So, another day went buy where we talked about pretty much everything. His art, his music, his brother’s homosexual-ness (is that even a word?) But, it was really nice hanging out with him—

Oh, crap. I just preformed a major cliché.

I fell for the heartthrob/guy I hated/ dude who sort of saved me! THAT’S THREE IN ONE!!!!!

“Sakura, look, I know that you probably wouldn’t want to, but there’s that formal dance thing next month and I was thinking of going and if you were going, I was thinking we could maybe meet up there and kinda hang out and—”

“How about I just meet you at your house and we drive thee together and we call it a date?” I suggested. Sasuke stared at me for a moment before smirking.

“I like that idea.

The last few months of school were filled with mindless flirting, teasing, and falling (in almost-ish love). Summer was turning out to be great. We met up at the pool a lot and played chicken with everyone else. For Sasuke and I, it once ended up in us losing against Naruto and Hinata, us getting tangled up in the water, which led to our first make-out session. I quickly got to know his brother and his boyfriend—I’m sorry, fiancé—and came to know that they were both supper cool. Deidara was into acting and I got to see him in a town production of RENT. He played Angel!!! Sasuke and I wrote a song together! Well, I wrote the lyrics, he composed the music, and I think you get it. But it was a touching song about life. With my persuasion, his parents finally came to accept the fact that no, Sasuke wasn’t going into the family business. His dad still doesn’t like me too much though. He just approves. Because, yes, Sasuke and I are and item. As weird as it sounds. We spent our last year in high school together. When college came, we had to go our separate ways because he was going to college in London and I was staying in this country.

But I never said it was over.


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Four years later, I took a cruise around the world. Shockingly, I became interested in photography. I wanted to explore the world in all of its wondrous beauty.

We were spending a week in Europe, traveling to some different countries. One day, I was in a café in France with a girl I became friends with before the trip, so we went together. While we were planning out the rest of the week, a man came up to us. He had brown hair and a soft face. He stared at me with this weird look in his eye.

“I found the beauty . . .”

“Excuse me?” He pulled out a phone and took a picture of me. “Hey!” He smiled at me.

“Just stay here for another ten minutes. I promise you won’t be disappointed!” And then he left. Sara turned to me, confused.

“Do you know him?” she asked. I shook my head.
“Well, I think we should stay, just to see what he was talking about.” So we stayed. Unfortunately. It was ten minutes since he guy left, and I stood.

“We should go. We have to pack up to leave tomorrow,” I told her. she agreed and we walked out of the small building.

“SAKURA!!!!!”

That voice. I know that voice . . .

“I hope you know that sexy man, Sakura!” Sara whispered to me. I stared in shock as Sasuke came sprinting our way. He had matured, and he was sexy. His hair still resembled that of a chicken butt. When his reached me, he almost pulled me into a kiss, but stopped himself.

“Um, hi—”

Yeah, I kissed him. Hard. He immediately kissed me back.

“Hey, I’m still here!” Sara said. I smiled at her after I broke the kiss.

“Sara, this is Sasuke,” I said. She gasped while grinning.

“You’re Sasuke? Sakura’s told me so much about you!” she gushed. Sasuke smirked down at me (I’m still shorter than him?!?!).

“You told people about me?” I gave him a smirk all my own.

“It kept the hormonal men away.”

“Sakura! He has to come with us! You two are lie, star-crossed lovers or something!”

“What is she talking about?”

“I came here on a cruise, Sasuke. We go around the world. I’m into photography now.” He frowned.

“When do you leave?”

“Friday morning.”

“Sakura, that’s in four days!” Sara glared at him like he was stupid.

“Yeah, and that’s enough time to pack your things and come on the cruise with us! Pack up on day one, close accounts on day two, get the tickets on day three, and then you’re set!” she said.

“Um Sara, can you leave us alone for a moment?” I asked politely. When we were alone on a nearby bench, Sasuke began talking.

“Sakura, I want to be with you. I’ve never stopped thinking about you since high school graduation. But . . . I can’t just leave.”

“I know, and I don’t expect you to. You have life here and—”

“No, what I mean is I have too much stuff and I can’t just go and leave it. I have to get rid of it somehow if I’m going to go with you,” he explained. I stared up at him with shocked eyes. “Yes, I will go with you. But I’ll need all the help I can get to getting ready.”

We spent the next two days selling almost all of his stuff to get money for the cruise. Sara paid for his ticket and he was going to pay her back immediately. The only things he wasn’t giving away were his cloths, portraits, and some other stuff. He quickly pulled out all of his savings from the bank and paid off all of his dept. All of the stuff he had left fit neatly into two boxes.

When we got on the cruise ship and set off, he watched as the landed faded away. “I’m going to miss this place,” he mumbled. We settled into the room that Sara and I shared. Since there were only two beds, Sasuke and I had to share mine (YES!!!).


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We traveled the rest of the world together. I took my pictures and he got some great chances to draw new people. It was an amazing experience and we picked up right where we left off. While on the cruise, I found out that I was pregnant.

I wonder who the father is?

After a few months, he proposed. In the coolest of ways!

He said he wanted to sketch another portrait of me, this time under a tree. I let him. During the time, I noticed he was nervous about something, but I didn’t address it. When I walked over to see the picture, it brought tears to my eyes. It was the words “Will you marry me?” in beautiful writing. He had pulled out a ring then.

Of course, I said yes.

The baby? Or should I say, babies? I had twins. A boy and a girl. They both had black hair and dark green eyes. I will tell you that Sasuke that black hair was the dominant gene.

So remember when I said that I hate clichés? Well, I guess this one time, I will make an acception.